Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
