What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
