please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
