one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
