Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
