Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
