dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
they need to just BURY HIM!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
