Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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