Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
