Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
this just has baby written all over it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
