Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
as a side note pls kill me
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
