I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
