The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
