So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
