Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
