I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He did a backflip because drugs
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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