Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
