She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
