you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
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