you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize