Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
