if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
