Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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