He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
