wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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