you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
