My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
