I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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