what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
