They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
