He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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