and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
