Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I intend to get homeless drunk
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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