the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
