I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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