so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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