He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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