i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
