Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
