I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
