he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
