When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
