Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
