I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
