I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
