I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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