SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
