Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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