508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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