I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
