I molested 6 butterflies tonight
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
