Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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