just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
