I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
