Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize