i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
