Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
