look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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