if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
