there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
