I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize