You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
