A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
