is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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