I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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