Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am naked and annoyed.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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