it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this boner is exhausting
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
