so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
