and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She announced her abortion via fbk
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
