TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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