I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
