You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This is classic penis vs brain.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
