i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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