i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
