Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
