I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize