Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
