I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
