Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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